


Sergeant Barnes

by Shania16



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Injury, Mutual Pining, Prosthesis, Protective Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24730471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shania16/pseuds/Shania16
Summary: Getting to know Sergeant Barnes while he lives in Wakanda
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 39





	1. Loss

You were sprinting as fast as you could, chasing after the bad guy. He had stolen weapon plans from S.H.I.E.L.D. and you were sent to retrieve them, which had ultimately ended in a foot chase. He lead you into a warehouse, which should have set off alarms for you, but you were focused on getting the stolen plans back. A loud beeping noise suddenly caught your attention. It was getting louder and more rapid. Before you could run away there was an explosion, which threw you backwards. Something hit your head and knocked you out.

You woke up in severe pain. "C'mon agent! We gotta go!" Someone was yelling at you, trying to pull your limp body up off the ground. Your vision was blurry and your entire body was in an immense amount of pain. "Agent! Now!" They commanded. With a scream you got up, the pain was even worse now, if that was possible. They grabbed you around the waist and helped you limp out of there. They lead you to a jet, not that you could tell since your vision was clouded with tears. Once inside the jet, a swarm of medical staff took you to the medical wing. "Where to Nat?" You heard a voice ask briskly. "We're closest to the tower. I'll alert Cho." One of them sedated you before you could figure out what was happening. 

You woke up later in a panic. You were desperately trying to get up but it felt like your body wouldn't work. A nurse quickly came in to try to calm you down. "Agent!" She kept yelling. "You need to stay still!" More nurses were spilling into the room to try to keep you still. They were holding down your body, which honestly freaked you out more. One of them put something in your IV, which caused you to stop thrashing after a few moments. You were breathing heavily, your eyes darting around the room looking for answers. 

"Do you know where you are, agent?" One of the women asked. You shook your head. "You're in the medical wing at the Avengers tower." You took a few deep breaths and looked around more carefully. "Do you remember what happened?" You heard a male voice ask. Snapping your head towards the voice, you recognized that it was Dr. Banner. You shook your head again. "You were in an explosion. You sustained a lot of injuries." You looked down at your body and back up at him waiting for him to explain. 

He hesitantly explained. "You hit your head pretty bad, so we had to put some staples back there. You also have a severe concussion. You have first and second degree burns on most of your body, those will take some time to heal. You have a few fractured ribs and a fractured radius in your left arm." He stopped before explaining further, his eyes growing with pity. "Unfortunately, your right leg took most of the damage, which caused the blood to stop flowing through it. In order to preserve the rest of your body we had to amputate." Your eyes went wide in panic and you started hyperventilating. The nurse acted quickly, administering a sedative so you would be knocked out. 

You spent weeks in the medical wing. Your burns slowly healing as well as your fractured bones. Your staples got taken out a few days ago, which was a relief, you could finally get your hair washed. Unfortunately, your right leg was still gone. They had to wait for the rest of your body to heal before they could fit you for a prosthetic. "Good news!" Dr. Banner announced as he walked into your room. "We'll be able to fit you with the prosthetic in just a few more days." 

You let out a sigh. Ever since you got here you've been depressed. You didn't really talk to anyone unless you needed something. Even then you only said a few words. You also weren't eating much, meaning they had to tube feed you to ensure that you got your daily nutrients. Dr. Banner was looking over your chart. "It looks like your burns are mostly healed, there's only minimal scarring. Both fractures seem to be healed, although your ribs will be sore for a while." He looked back over to you, waiting for a reaction. After a minute of awkward silence you let out a small 'ok' refusing to look at him. 

You were getting fit for your prosthetic today, and you didn't know how to feel about it. Yes, you were excited to get the chance to walk again, but you were also dejected about not having a normal leg any more. The doctor was nice enough, they were experienced with this type of work so they understood how to handle the situation, which you appreciated. The first few times you tried to walk with your prosthetic you fell, which made your frustration increase each time.You wanted to give up. The doctor told you that it would take a lot of time to get used to relying on the prosthetic.


	2. Meeting the Captain

After weeks of physical therapy you were finally being released from the medical wing. You were glad to be going back to your S.H.I.E.L.D. apartment. A little bit of home is what you needed. You weren't cleared for active duty so you spent a lot of time training, trying to get your strength back. You were in the training room again, running on the treadmill. It was still weird running on your prosthetic, but at least you could run. 

You moved on to the punching bag, really getting into it. Or maybe, too into it. Because before you knew it your prosthetic snapped, causing you to fall on your ass. You looked down in shock. This wasn't supposed to happen, and clearly it wasn't combat ready if it broke from you just kicking a punching bag. You tried to weigh out your options. You could hop to your apartment, but that would be tiring as hell. You could crawl, but that would be humiliating. You couldn't call anyone because you left your phone in your room. You had been on the floor for a few minutes when someone else walked into the training room.

"Are you alright agent?" You heard a man ask. You looked over and saw Capitan America walking in. "Umm..." You started, feeling awkward. "My prosthetic broke." You admitted. His eyes widen in realization. "Do you need help?" He asked making his way over to you. You just sheepishly nodded your head. "What happened?" He asked as he helped you up. You were trying to keep your balance on the one leg as you held onto him tightly. "I was just kicking the punching bag and it snapped." You explained.

"Do you mind if I carry you?" He asked. It was really the only way you were going to get anywhere. You shook your head. He easily scooped you up, carrying you bridal style to the medical wing. He stayed with you while you explained what happened to Dr. Banner. "Why would her prosthetic break so easily?" Captain America asked with a serious tone. "Well, it shouldn't have." Dr. Banner answered confused. "The prosthetic we gave her is the same type that soldiers take into battle." He explained.

"Well maybe she needs something better, more stable." Captain America said. It was like the two of them were almost talking in code to each other. After a few beats of silence, Dr. Banner said, "I'll give her a call." You had no idea who he was talking about. "Who?" You asked but you didn't get an answer. After a few minutes Dr. Banner came back into the room. "She said she'd do it." Was all he said before he left again. Captain America turned to look at you. "You ready to go?" You looked at him confused. "Go where?" You asked.


	3. Off to Wakanda

Apparently, you were going to Wakanda to get your new prosthetic. Captain "call me Steve" America wheeled you off the jet in a wheelchair, which you insisted you have rather than him carry you everywhere. You were greeted by a girl named Shuri, who you were told would be making your prosthetic. She explained the process to you as Steve pushed you to her lab. "We will create a vibranium prosthetic that is linked to your nerves so you can control it better." She told you. "And it won't break?" You asked looking up at her. "No, vibranium is the strongest metal on earth. It is what the Captain's shield is made out of."

Steve lifted you onto the table and Shuri got to work. After a couple hours she had designed the perfect prosthetic leg for you. "The procedure will take place tomorrow. We will have to put you to sleep for it." She informed you. You nodded you head in understanding. "Is he here?" Steve suddenly asked. You had no idea who he was talking about. "Yes, but he is to be left alone for now." Shuri answered solemnly. Steve just nodded his head, his eyes sad. Before you could say anything, Shuri said, "Come now, we will show you to your rooms." With that, two guards lead you both away, one of them pushing your wheelchair.

The next day you had your procedure. Steve didn't stay with you, instead he went off with T'Challa. One minute you're falling asleep, next thing you know it's seven hours later and you have a new leg. Shuri told you that the painful part of the procedure was over, she just had a few mechanical things to work out. You lied there silently as she worked. "Princess Shuri?" Once of the guards said as they entered her lab. "Yes?" Shuri answered, not looking up from your leg. "Sergeant Barnes would like you to look at his arm." You looked over to see two men standing in the doorway. One of them was hiding behind the guard. "Tell him to come in, I'm almost done." Shuri directed, not looking up.

The man walked in and stood his distance. Shuri just kept working and after about ten minutes she announced that she was done. "Do you want to try standing on it?" She asked. You nodded your head and turned so your legs were dangling off the table. "Sergeant Barnes, come over here and give her a hand, will you?" You watched the man walkover and hold out his hand for you to use as support, You noticed that his entire left arm was a prosthetic. You grabbed it and slowly lowered yourself to the ground. You felt the plates on your new leg shift, adjusting to the new weight. With a few shakey steps you were finally walking again. "It works!" You exclaimed excited. You let go of the man's hand and gave Shuri a hug, thanking her. She just laughed at you, amused with your excitement. 

The man just watched you in wonder. He had no idea who you were, and yet you captured his mind. "Guard, can you take Y/N to see Captain Rogers?" Shuri asked, urging you to follow the guard. Once they were gone Shuri turned to Sergeant Barnes. "What seems to be the problem?" She asked him. He was still facing the doorway that you just walked out of. "Who was that?" He asked with a far away look on his face. Shuri laughed at his enamoured expression. "A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. She lost her leg in an explosion." He nodded at her explanation, face still sporting a dazed expression. "So what's the problem, Sergeant Barnes?" She asked again. He snapped out of his gaze. "The plates on the arm are glitching." He said vaguely. Shuri nodded and said she would take a look. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shuri insisted that you and Steve stay for a few days. "To make sure your leg works properly." She explained with a mischievous glint in her eyes. You and Steve were walking around the kingdom, enjoying the sights, but also getting you used to using your leg. Shuri suggested that you both go to the lake since it was nice weather. You and Steve were making casual conversation, just getting to know each other when he came to an abrupt. "Bucky?" He questioned. You followed his gaze to see he was looking at the man that came into Shuri's lab the other day. 

"Hey Steve." The man greeted with a small smile. The two men met each other halfway and gave each other a hug. You made your way over to them as they separated. "How you been, Buck?" Steve asked, his hand still holding onto the other man's shoulder. "Not bad." The man answered. His gaze shifted to look at you. A strange look came across his face. Steve dropped his hand from the man's shoulder. "Bucky, this is Y/F/N Y/L/N. She's a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Y/N, this is James Barnes. He's my oldest friend." 

The man, Bucky? James? Held out his hand for you to shake, you did so with a small smile on your face. "Nice to meet you, James." You told him. "Call me Bucky." Was all he said. It took you both a second to realize that you were shaking hands way too long. With an awkward laugh you let go, stepping back slightly. "So, where does 'Bucky' come from?" You asked, trying to defuse the awkwardness. "My full name is James Buchanan Barnes. Everyone has always called me Bucky." He informed you.

A phone ringing made you jump slightly. You looked over to see Steve pull out his phone and answer, walking a few feet away. You and Bucky stood there silently for a moment. "So, what if I don't want to call you Bucky?" You asked playfully. He looked at you with an expression you couldn't read. "You can call me anything you want to." He answered, his smile growing as he saw your face heat up. "Anything?" You teased. He chuckled, "Well, maybe not anything." You laughed.

Steve came back over to you after he hung up the phone. "That was Sam. They need me to come back for a mission." He told you. He was a little sad to leave, he wanted to stay here with his friend. "Okay." You told him, also a little sad to leave. You were really enjoying your time here. "It was good to meet you Mr. Barnes." You told him with a teasing smile. He huffed out a laugh. "Likewise." Steve was looking back and forth between the two of you, confusion on his face. You turned and started the walk back to the jet. You noticed that Steve wasn't following. You turned to see his giving Bucky one last hug. He said something in his ear that you didn't hear. "Shut up, punk." Was Bucky's response. "Make me, jerk." Was all Steve said before he turned to join you on the walk back to the jet. You caught Bucky's eyes once more before walking away. 

"Y'know, you can stay if you'd rather spend your time with someone else." Steve teased once you got closer to the jet. You avoided looking at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." You told him avoiding his insinuations. Shuri was there to see you both off. You thanked her again with a hug. "Here." She said handing you a card. "If you need to contact me or anyone else here." She teased with a pointed look. You all but shoved the paper into your pocket, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. "Feel free to visit anytime." She told both of you. "Thank you." Was all Steve said, and with that you both left, flying back home.


	4. The first call

You still weren't cleared to go on missions, not until you had more control over your new prosthetic. You understood their reasons, but you were severely bored. There was only so much training one could do each day. If you weren't training, you were in your room trying to find something to relieve your boredom. You had already cleaned and rearranged your room, not there was much to move. You decided to read one of your long forgotten books. After reading a few chapters you decided to take a break. You looked around for something to use as a bookmark. You found a small piece of paper on your nightstand.

Picking it up you noticed that it was the card Shuri gave to you. You inspected it and saw that there were a few numbers on it. You wondered if you would be able to reach a certain person you met while in Wakanda. Deciding to take a chance, you called one of the numbers. Surprisingly, it immediately turned into a video call. After a few rings, Shuri answered.

"Ah, agent Y/L/N! How are you?" She asked politely. "I'm good, thanks. The leg is doing very well." You told her. She smiled at that. "Good. I'm glad to hear that! Is there something I can help you with?" She asked trying to figure out why you called. "Well." You started. "I was trying to reach someone." You answered, guarded. Her smile grew. "Would that someone be Sergeant Barnes?" She teased, her eyebrows wiggling up and down. You could feel the blush creep up on your cheeks. "Umm...yeah?" You managed to get out. God, this was so embarrassing. 

"I'll transfer you to him." She laughed. The screen went blank for a minute before another face appeared on it. "Hello?" He asked, his eyes scrunched up. You laughed at how confused he looked. "Do you only know how to use rotary phones?" You asked, teasing him. A smile wiped out the confusion as he realized who he was talking to. "How are you, Y/N?" He asked, his smile warm. "I'm good, Sergeant Barnes. How are you?" Your smile was so big it was hurting your cheeks.

"I'm good now." He flirted? "I was wondering when I would see you again." You looked away from the screen for a second, trying to collect yourself. When you looked at him again you noticed that his smile was growing. "Well I'm not sure if this counts as seeing each other." You told him, trying to calm down. "Well, I get to see your pretty face, so I think it counts." God, he was smooth. Trying to change the subject, you asked, "What are you doing?" You noticed that he was outside. He turned the camera so you could see his surroundings. "I'm feeding the goats, currently." You saw a few goats grazing. 

"Are they your goats?" You asked. His face came back into the frame. "Yes, they're my goats. I do a lot of farm work here." He told you, his face soft. "What are their names?" You asked, wanting to know more. He huffed a laugh before turning the camera again. He pointed the camera at the different goats. "That one is Pippa, she's the calmest. Over there is Alfie, he's the leader. Those two are Oliver and Dixie, they're twins. The one laying down is Millie, she is the laziest thing alive. And that dumb one chewing his own leg over there is Steve, he's special." He ended his explanation with a laugh. You giggled at the last part. 

"Does Steve know you named one of your goats after him?" He came back into frame. "No, that's what makes it so funny." You threw your head back in laughter. He looked at you admirably. "So what are you up to?" He asked. You walked over to your desk chair so you could prop your phone onto the stand. You leaned forward and crossed your arms on top of the desk. "Well, I'm not cleared for active duty yet, so I'm doing a lot of nothing." You said with fake enthusiasm. He expression turned into one of concern. "Why aren't you cleared yet?" He asked. You leaned back with a huff of breath. "I need to learn how to control my leg before I can go back into the field." You explained picking at the split ends of your long hair. 

"Are you comfortable with it yet?" He asked, his voice wondering. You looked at the screen for a moment before answering. "I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with it." You admitted quietly. He nodded understandingly. If anyone knew how you felt it was him. "It feels wrong, no matter how nice the prosthetic is." He explained. You nodded your head in agreement. "Exactly." Was all you said. There was a bit of silence. "Well, I need to get back to my goats." His voice held some humor to it, trying to lift your spirits. 

You giggled at statement. "Okay, well thanks for taking the time to talk to me." You told him. His smile was warm. "You can call to me anytime." He said softly. Another blush was creeping up your cheeks. "Anytime? Even if it's the middle of the night?" You joked laughing. "I'll always answer when you call." He flirted. God, why is he such a flirt? You looked away from the camera, trying to hide your red face. You heard him chuckle at you. Turning back to look at him, you lamely said, "Okay." You wish you were as smooth as he was. "Maybe I'll visit sometime." You told him quietly. His smile softened. "I'd like that." He said tenderly. You looked at each other for a few more moments before signing off, promising to call again soon. As soon as the call ended you put your hands over your face and squealed like a teenager with a crush.


	5. An idea is born

You and Bucky video called each other at least once a week, sometimes more. The calls ranged anywhere from ten minutes to an hour, depending on how busy you both were. Also, you had to be careful with the time zone difference. He was six hours ahead of you, and you tried not to call each other while the other was sleeping. You were currently telling him about a mission you were set to go on with Steve, Sam, and some other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. You were excited to be in the field again, but your nerves were apparent.

"You'll do great, Y/N." He reassured you. "You have a great team going with you. Plus, Steve won't let anything bad happen to you." You knew that, but it was nice of him to remind you. "Who's Steve?" You joked making him laugh. "I dunno, some dumbass probably." His answer made you giggle. "Hey!" Steve shouted, offended. You jumped at his entrance, not expecting him. "I'm definitely not a dumbass." He said to Bucky, putting emphasis on the word 'not'. Bucky just gave him a look through the phone. 

"Do I need to remind you of all the times you got beat up because you're such a hothead?" Bucky scolded. Clearly, this is an argument they have often. Steve just huffed instead of answering, making you laugh. He turned to you mischievously. "Y/N, do you want to hear about the time Bucky almost got us arrested?" He asked. "Don't you dare, punk!" Bucky interrupted, his cheeks blushing slightly. You looked between them in amusement. It was like watching brothers argue.

"Did you need something Steve?" You asked, trying to change the subject. He glanced over to Bucky once more before locking his gaze on you. "Yeah, the team wants to meet to talk about the mission." He informed you. "We're going to meet in about ten minutes." You nodded, saying you'll meet him there. With that, he looked back to Bucky and flipped him off. "Jerk." Bucky flipped off right back with a smirk. "Punk." Steve left the room.

"I guess I have to go." You told Bucky, not wanting to hang up. He let out a sigh before a smile formed on his face. "I'll call you soon, okay? Let me know how the mission goes." You give him a smile. "I will." You tell him with a nod. "Good." He answers softly. Both of you just look at each other through the screen for a minute, neither one wanting to end the call. Eventually you sigh. "I need to go." You admitted. "Okay." He answers. A few more beats of silence goes by. "Bye Sergeant." You tell him wistfully. "Bye agent." He says, a melancholy smile on his face. With that, the call ends. You sit there looking at the blank screen for a few seconds before leaving your room to meet with the team.

The mission had gone well, all things considered. You walked away with minimal injuries, so you considered that a win. After you took a very long, hot shower you called Bucky. He answered after a few rings. "Hey." The smile on his face immediately dropped, a look of concern overtaking it. "What happened?" He asked worriedly. He was probably referring to your black eye. "One of the freaking guards threw their gun at my face." You huffed. "Who throws a gun at someone?!" You asked, the disbelief present in your voice. "I got him back though." You told Bucky. "I roundhouse kicked him in the head with my super leg, knocked him right out." You announced proudly.

"I'm not sure if I should be mad or if I should laugh." He admitted chuckling. You smiled at him. "The mission went well-." You told him. "I knew it would." He interrupted. His face full of satisfaction. The only retaliation you could think of was sticking your tongue out. "Very mature." He countered blandly. Your nose scrunched up playfully. "You're so cute." His voice matching his soft expression. God, he made you blush so easily. You quickly put your head down, hiding your face in your hands. "Hey! No hiding." He scolded playfully. You looked back up and pretended to glare at him. "There's that pretty face." He teased. "Shut up." You muttered, trying to resist the urge to hide. He just laughed at you.

You talked for over an hour, just enjoying each other's company. You noticed that he was trying to hide his yawns. You looked at the time to see it was almost midnight there. "Hey, maybe you should go to bed." You suggested softly. He shook his head as he bit back another yawn. "Not tired." He told you stubbornly. You gave him a look. "Yes, you are. Unless you always yawn every three minutes." You teased. He shook his head and tried to hide another yawn behind his hand. "I want to talk to you." He admitted, making you smile. "I want to talk to you too, but you need sleep. Plus, I need to go eat dinner." You said trying to convince him. 

His lip pouted slightly, but he nodded his head in agreement, mostly because he didn't want to keep you from eating. "Okay." He said through a yawn. "I'll call you soon, okay?" He told you with a small smile in his face. You smiled at his cuteness. "I'm counting on it." You answered with a wink. He let out a chuckle. "Goodnight Y/N." He said softly. "Goodnight Sergeant." You said, voice going quiet. You sighed when the call ended. You really didn't want to hang up, but you definitely weren't going to keep him from sleeping. An idea suddenly struck you. You made a note to make a few phone calls tomorrow.


	6. The surprise

You made sure that you wouldn't be available to go on any missions for a week, listing it as personal days. You also talked to Shuri to clear that it was okay for you to come to Wakanda for a few days. She was delighted that you would be visiting, teasing you about a certain man they were housing. You pretended to not know what she was talking about, which caused her to tease you even more. You made her promise not the tell anyone that you would be there, wanting to keep it a surprise.

Steve had approached you to ask if everything was okay. "What do you mean?" You asked him confused. "I heard you're taking some personal days. Just want to make sure all is well." He told you, his face showing his worry. "Everything is fine." You reassured him. "Just wanted to take some time off to relax a little." His face relaxed at your answer. "Oh." He breathed out. "So where are you going?" He asked, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. "Just visiting family." You said vaguely. Technically, you were visiting family. It just wasn't your family. Steve nodded at your answer. "That'll be nice." He told you. You nodded in agreement. 

The thing about surprises is they were hard to keep a secret, especially from the person you were surprising. Bucky could tell you were acting different the last time you talked. He just pegged it as you having an off day and left it alone. You left New York so you would get to Wakanda in the early morning. The flight was long and exhausting, but you were excited to see a certain someone.

Shuri greeted you as you got off the jet. "Good to see you Y/N. Sergeant Barnes talks about you a lot." She teased. You tried to hold off your blush. "Really?" You asked dumbly. Shuri laughed. "Yes! Especially for a man who doesn't speak much. One of the guards will take you to his hut." She told you, leaving you with a nod. The guard took your duffle bag, despite your protests and lead you to Bucky's hut. You walked mostly in silence. You were too nervous to speak much, excited to see the man you haven't seen in person in months.

Once you got close enough you let the guard know you could walk the rest of the way by yourself. With a nod, they walked back to the palace. You were quick to walk the rest of the way to the hut. You didn't see him outside and figured he must still be asleep. You decided to call him to wake him up. He answered after a few rings. "Hey?" He answered, the sleep still evident in his voice. "Hey yourself." You said giggling. "Are you okay?" You could understand his concern, you never called this early. "I'm great!" You answered. "Did I wake you up?" You asked, faking concern. He shook his head in protest, even though it was obvious the answer was yes.

"No, no. I was getting up anyway. I need to feed the goats." He said as he yawned. You were just a few feet away now. "I bet. They look pretty hungry." You teased, trying to see if he would catch on. "Yeah." He said tiredly. "Wait, what?" He asked more alert. "I mean, poor Steve. He looks like he's going to eat his leg if he doesn't get fed soon." You said feigning concern. He took a second to react. He suddenly jumped up and ran out of his hut. He abruptly stopped when he saw you. 

You just stared at each other for a few seconds. "You're here?" He whispered, like he thought he was dreaming. "Surprise." You exclaimed quietly, matching his tone. He breathed out a laugh before surging towards you, picking you up and twirling you around. You were both laughing. "I missed you." He mumbled into your hair as he put you down. "I missed you too." You said into his chest. He pulled back slightly and grabbed your face gently, his eyes taking you in. You were trying to keep your breath calm. A smile formed on his face. "I forgot how beautiful you are in person." He admitted. "The video calls don't do you justice." You backed away from him, giggling as you playfully slapped his chest. 

"So are you going to give me a tour?" You asked looking around. He nodded. His arm wrapped around your shoulders as he lead you around. "These are my lovely goats." He said gesturing vaguely. "Over there are the hay bales that I lug around. This is my hut, where I sleep. And that's pretty much it." He said. "Oh, and this is the beautiful girl that keeps me awake at night." He said cheesily as his hand came up to cup your cheek. "Stop it!" You playfully slapped his hand away, making him laugh.

"C'mon, you can put your bag inside and help me feed the goats." He said as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully. You laughed as you walked away. You looked around his hut quickly, it was basically the size of a small shed. You noticed right away it was pretty empty. The walls were bare, and the only furniture was a bed in one corner, a tiny kitchen that was barely a kitchen in another corner, and a door in another corner. You assumed that was the bathroom. Not wanting to linger, you made your way back outside.

Bucky showed you how to feed the goats. You were timid at first, but quickly warmed up. Pippa took an immediate liking to you, much to your surprise. Steve, on the other hand, kept belting at you, which made Bucky crack up laughing. "Just like the real thing." He joked. After the goats were fed, the two of you stood by the lake skipping rocks. "How long are you here?" He asked. He was watching you with a smile on his face. "Yes!" You exclaimed as you successfully skipped a rock. "I'm staying for a week." You informed him. "If you'll have me that long." You joked picking up another rock to throw. "You can stay as long as you want." He flirted. 

Bucky was making you lunch in his barely there kitchen. He was making grilled cheese sandwiches for the two of you. You were sitting on his bed since he didn't have anywhere else to sit, leaning against the wall. He came to sit next to you, handing you your plate. You bit into your sandwich, nodding your head to let him know it was good. He smiled at you before he bit into his. "Why don't you have any decorations?" You asked him. He waited until his mouth wasn't full before he responded. "I'm not good at decorating." Was all he said, taking another bite. "It's not like it's hard." You teased, winking. 

"Well, how would you decorate it?" He asked looking over to you. You looked around thoughtfully. "Maybe put up some pictures or paintings, make the walls pop." You answered. You took another bite of your sandwich and looked back over to him. You noticed that he was already finished with his food. "I don't have any pictures to put up." He admitted getting up to put his plate in the sink then joining you on the bed again. "Good thing I packed my polaroid then." You said with a wink. He just shook his head as he chuckled at you.

"What face do I make?" He asked confused. You rolled your eyes playfully. "Literally any face you want. We'll probably take more than one." You teased smiling at the camera. "Now what?" He asked after you took the picture. "Now we wait for it to develop." You said grabbing the paper coming out of the camera. He looked over your shoulder, amazed at how the picture was darkening on the paper. "I like it." He said softly. You agreed, it was a good picture, you were both smiling. You took a few more, some of them smiling, some of them goofy. Your favorite was the one where he caught you off guard and kissed your cheek. You put them on the wall for him, arranging the pictures into a square. 

You spent the rest of the day just hanging out occasionally going outside to do farm work with him. That night you shared his bed with him. He tried to insist that he sleep on the floor, but you threatened that if he did that you would also sleep on the floor, so you would both be miserable. That made him agree to sharing the bed with you. You smiled triumphantly. You faced each other in the bed, talking softly as to not disturb the silence of the night. You stayed up talking for hours before you both eventually fell asleep. You woke up the next morning with his arm draped over you.

The week went by way too quickly. You didn't want to leave him but you had to get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. "You can visit anytime you want." He told you as you held each other. You goodbye hug lasted a good five minutes. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. "I'll call you when I get home." You told him, your face pressed to his chest. You felt him press a kiss to the top of your head. You begrudgingly let each other go. "I'll see you later." He said as you boarded the jet. You gave him a small smile followed by a wave before taking off.


	7. Caught

You were in the training room when Steve cornered you. You were running on the treadmill when he joined you, running on the one next to you. "So I just got off the phone with Bucky." He mentioned, trying to sound casual. "Oh yeah?" You huffed out. "How is he?" You asked out of breath. "He's good." Steve said offhandedly. "Y'know what was funny? It was a video call so I could see the background." You glanced at him, confused as to where this story was going. "He was sitting on his bed. And you know what I saw? I saw some lovely pictures of him with this girl I know." He told you pointedly. Your eyes widened in realization. You quickly stopped the treadmill and hastily made your way to the exit. Steve got in front of you, keeping you from leaving.

"You know what else is weird? When we saw him in Wakanda a few months ago together, we never went inside his hut. So how did you two take those pictures together?" He asked in fake confusion, a teasing smile on his face. You sidestepped him and ran out of the gym. "I don't know what you're talking about!" You shouted as you ran away. Steve shook his head in amusement at your retreating form.

"So Steve knows I lied to him." You told Bucky in shame. He was laughing at you. "I still don't understand why you didn't just tell him your plan." You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. "Because!" You whined. "He was either going to ask too many questions, tease me about it, or tell you. Or he would have done all three." You admitted to him. He looked at you with amusement in his eyes. "And what on Earth would he tease you about?" Bucky asked with fake innocence. You stuck your tongue out in retaliation. He laughed at your childish response. "Well I don't care that he knows." Bucky admitted to you. "I'll tell the whole world if it means I get to see you again."

God, he was going to kill you with his sweet talk. You looked away to hide your blush. Though, evidently not well enough, due to Bucky chuckling at you. "C'mon, don't hide that beautiful face from me." He teased softly. With a huff you turned to face the phone again. You smiled at him and rolled your eyes playfully. "I miss you." You told him as you leaned forwards, resting your arms on your desk. His face went soft. "I miss you too." He looked at you longingly, you're sure your facial expression matched his. You both gazed at each other through the screen, wishing you could see each other in person. "There's a mission soon in Lebanon. Maybe I could see you after?" You said questioningly. He gave you a small smile of reassurance. "That would be lovely." He said sapily. 

Turns out the world was against you. "Please Steve?" You asked pathetically. He just sighed. "I'm sorry Y/N. But I have strict orders to return home as soon as possible. There are other things more dire than visiting people on S.H.I.E.L.D. time." He told you sternly, although he did truly look sorry. "Understood agent?" He asked in his Captain America voice. You nodded. "Understood Captain." With that you walked back to the bathroom, trying to calm yourself. It didn't work well since you felt the tears slip out. You were trying your best to cry in silence. The last thing you needed was people hearing you crying pathetically in the bathroom. 

You texted Bucky since you wouldn't have any privacy with the team around you. "We're not allowed to stop in Wakanda. Strict orders." You sent him. You closed your eyes in defeat. You could feel one of the agent's eyes on you, but you ignored them. You really didn't want to talk about it. You looked at your phone as you got a text back from Bucky. "That's okay, Y/N. Another time." His response made you feel worse. He clearly wanted to see you as much as you wanted to see him. It would be another few weeks before you could get any time off again. You just didn't know if you could wait that long. 

"Hey don't cry, doll. It's okay." Bucky was trying to comfort you over the phone later that day. You felt more tears fall. "I know." You sniffled. "I just really miss you." You whimpered. You were trying to hold back your sobs, unsuccessfully though. Bucky's heart broke at hearing those noises coming out of you. There was only so much he could do. If he was able to come to you, he would without a doubt. Instead, he had to just sit here and watch you cry. 

You tried to pull yourself together. "I'm sorry." You apologized as you wiped your tears away, only for new ones to take their place. "I didn't mean to ruin the mood." You told him quietly. "You could never ruin the mood, Y/N." He reassured you. "Even if you were screaming that you hate me." He joked getting a wet laugh out of you. "That would never happen." You told him with a small smile on your face. Your tears were finally slowing down. "Man, I sure hope not." He winked. You playfully rolled your eyes at him, your smile growing on your face. "There's that beautiful smile." He cooed, his face showing his fondness. 

"I can take some time off in a few weeks." You told him, trying to lighten the mood. His face lit up, making you feel accomplished. "That'll be nice. I can't wait to see you again." He shifted so he could lay down on his bed, making him sideways on the screen. "Who said I was going to see you?" You joked making him laugh. His laugh always brought a smile to your face. "Well, I hope you enjoy whatever you end up doing." He said trying to hide his yawn. 

"Go to bed, I'll call you soon." You told him with a nod. He shook his head as a yawn came out. "I'm not tired." He countered blinking his eyes to fight the oncoming sleep. You smiled fondly at him, which he returned. "Right. Because you only yawn when you're wide awake, huh?" You teasingly asked. He nodded at you. "That's right." He said matter of factly. His eyes closed as he was losing the sleep battle. You didn't say anything, waiting to see if he would force himself to stay awake. 

You were about to hang up when his voice interrupted you. "It's not nice to stare." He said groggily. His eyes were fighting to stay open as he looked at you tiredly. "I can't help it. You're just so good looking." You flirted, your voice quiet. He let out a sleepy laugh but otherwise didn't say anything. "Goodnight Sergeant." You whispered. "Mmm, goodnight agent." He mumbled, letting himself fall asleep. You watched him for another moment before ending the call, a bittersweet feeling overtaking you.


	8. Closer

You wanted to stomp your feet like a child. It wasn't fair! Your requested time off got approved weeks ago, and yet they wanted you to go on a last minute mission to Edinburgh the night before you were going to leave. You understand that missions come first, but you had been planning to see Bucky for months now. With a huff, you pulled yourself together as you got on the jet with Sam, Steve, and Nat. 

You sent a quick text to Bucky that an emergency mission came up and you were unsure if you would make it to Wakanda anytime soon. He replied that he understood, but you could tell he was just as disappointed as you were. You let him know that you would keep him updated. After a few hours of flying Sam landed the jet. It was the middle of the night and pitch black. 

The fight at the train station was bizarre to say the least. It was the first time you fought with aliens, although your sure it wouldn't be the last. One of them almost stabbed you, but you were quick to use your vibranium leg in defence, kicking them clear across the platform. Vision wasn't so lucky. He had a massive wound in his torso. You had to get him back to the compound quickly, before anymore of the aliens attacked. 

Once you were back on the jet you texted Bucky that you had to take Vision to New York, prolonging your trip. He didn't respond until you were almost at the compound, all he sent was a frowny face, which made you feel even worse about the situation. Dr. Banner was was looking over Vision's wound, trying to figure out what to do. You just stayed in the background while the rest of them crowded around Vision, your mind was miles away. You snapped out of your daze when you heard someone mention going to Wakanda. "If anyone can do it, Shuri can." Steve told the group.

You were asleep most of the way there, having not slept at all the night before. After all, it would take hours to get there. You woke up when Steve nugged you, letting you know the jet would land in an hour. You sat up so he could sit next to you. "This isn't going to go well, is it Captain?" You asked him, already knowing the answer. Steve shook his head solemnly. "It's definitely not going to be easy, but we have to do our best." He said turning his head to look at you. 

"Do you think we'll..." You trailed off, not wanting to finish the question you didn't want to know the answer to. He shook his head, trying to keep your mind out of the gutter. "We can't focus on that. All we need to focus on is our end goal." He told you in his Captain America voice. Patting your shoulder, he stood up and joined Sam in the cockpit. All you could focus on was worst case scenarios. You had never been so nervous to go into battle.

Feeling the jet land brought you out of your doomsday trance. As you walked off the plane with your team you looked around, trying to find a certain Sergeant that captured your heart all those months ago. "You will have my Kingsguard." King T'Challa announced. "The border tribe, the Dora Milaje, and-" He cut himself off, genturing to someone. "And a semistable hundred year old man." Said Bucky, smiling as he walked over. 

He and Steve shared a brief hug. "How you been Buck?" Steve asked with a smile on his face. "Uh not bad." Bucky started, glancing at you and giving you a smile. "For the end of the world." He finished looking back at Steve. T'Challa lead the team inside the building to Shuri's lab. You stayed behind with Sam, Rhodey, and Bucky. The former two went a few feet away, scouting the place. You walked up to Bucky, the smile growing on your face.

"Hello Sergeant." You greeted with a nod. "Agent." He greeted back. He broke first after a few seconds of silence, surging forward to pull you into a hug, swaying the two of you side to side. He hid his smile against the top of your head. "I missed you so much." He told you quietly into your ear. "I miss you more." You mumbled against his chest. You pulled away sooner that you wanted to, you could stay in his arms forever. 

"Are them two...?" Sam asked Rhodey. They watched the exchange between you two. Rhodey shook his head a turned the other way. "Y'know Sam, that's none of my business." He said as he continued walking. Sam kept his eyes on you, watching you curiously. He'd never seen the both of you so happy since he's known you. After a moment he turned to follow Rhodey.

You and Bucky were in your own little world catching up. You were straining to keep your hands off of him, you didn't want people watching your exchanges. You wished you could just go to his hut for privacy, but now was not the time for that. 'We might never get to go there again.' You thought to yourself, your expression turning solemn. Bucky noticed right away.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, grabbing your face with his hands so you would look at him. You looked into his captivating eyes, getting lost for a moment. "I'm worried." You finally managed to say. His eyebrows scrunched together. "About what?" He asked rubbing his thumbs gently against your cheeks. You reached up to grasp his right wrist. "I just...I have a bad feeling. About this." You told him looking around, gesturing to the battle that was sure to come. 

Bucky sighed. He also had a bad feeling, but he didn't want you to know that. "Maybe they'll let you take a long leave after this is over." He suggested, trying to get your mind off of what was yet to come. Your face lit up slightly, causing a smile to creep up on his face. "Maybe I'll just stay here forever. They can't make me go back." You told him wistfully. "I'll just quit my job and be a goat farmer." He let out a laugh at that. "We could be goat farmers together." He said bringing you close to kiss the top of your head. 

Here you were, already planning your future with him. You knew you wanted to be with him forever, nothing would change your mind. You could imagine yourself living in his little hut for years on end. You never thought you would want to be a goat farmer, but you would do anything to spend the rest of your life with him. You just hoped he would have you, since you weren't officially his. You had those internal doubts of endless 'what if' scenarios, but looking into his eyes made all those doubts go away. He was yours, and you were his. That's all that mattered.


	9. Battle cry

Your reunion with Bucky was short lived. "Hey Cap, we got a situation here." You heard Sam say over the comms. You followed his eye line and looked up, seeing something big coming down from the sky. It hit the invisible dome protecting Wakanda loudly, making you flinch. "God, I love this place." Bucky said under his breath, you nodded in agreement. "Don't start celebrating yet guys. We got more incoming outside the dome!." Rhodey said over the comms, his tone showing worry. The four of you watched as several ships landed in the distance.

You and Bucky stood side by side as you were driven to the edge of the dome. Neither of you said a word, but your arms were pressed together and that's the only comfort you allowed yourselves. You had to focus on the mission. You stood in the front of the line along with Bucky, Nat, Steve, and T'Challa. The latter three were at the edge of the dome, talking to the enemy. 

You let out a shaky, nervous breath. "Hey." Bucky said to you quietly. "It'll be okay." He reassured. You nodded absentmindedly. "How do you know?" You asked, the worry showing in your voice. God, you wished you had more bravery than this. "I don't." He admitted. "But, after this is over we'll go to my hut and I'll make you dinner." You felt a small smile creep up on your face. "After dinner we'll sit by the lake and watch the sun go down. We can stay outside all night and look at the stars. We can sleep outside if we want to. I'll make you breakfast in bed every morning. We can do whatever we want. Okay?" He was speaking softly into your ear, his words only meant for you to hear. 

You turned your head to look him in the eyes, his smile was mirroring yours. "Okay." You told him softly after a beat of silence. You gave him a small nod and you both faced forward again. You saw Steve, Nat, and T'Challa making their way back to you. "They surrender?" Bucky asked Steve already knowing the answer. "Not exactly." Steve breathed out his answer. 

The aliens released the Outriders, which were honestly the creepiest things you've ever seen. They were trying to break through the dome. "They are killing themselves." Okoye said in horror. The few Outriders that got through the dome were shot down easily. You saw Sam and Rhodey bombing the edge of the dome to prevent them from getting far. T'Challa was forced to open the dome when the Outriders were circling around. The best strategy was to keep yourself between the Mind Stone and the enemy. "Wakanda forever!" T'Challa declared loudly. With that your team ran towards the enemy, Steve and T'Challa leading the way.

You had a machine gun as your weapon. You also had a few knives handy, just in case. You were doing your best to keep in mind of your surroundings. Multiple enemies meant you could be attacked from all angles, and these Outriders were at least twice your size. You climbed up a tree to get a better view point, using your vibranium leg to hold you steady. 

You managed to shoot down quite a few aliens before a big force knocked the tree over. You were on the ground, flat on your back with two Outriders hovering over you. Your gun got knocked out of your hands but you were quick to react. You grabbed a knife with each hand and stabbed them multiple times out of fear. They eventually collapsed and you quickly got up and reclaimed your gun, firing away at the enemy. 

It felt like the aliens were multiplying by the second, overpowering each person they took on. 'This is it.' You thought as you were surrounded by the giant creatures. A loud bolt of lightning suddenly struck the ground and you saw Thor entering the battle, taking out multiple aliens at once. You felt a short burst of relief flow through you. 

You could feel the fight draining you but you pushed on. 'Don't stop until it's over.' You reminded yourself. "Somebody get to Vision!" You heard Steve shout over the comms. You tried but you knew you would never make it there. The Outriders were surrounding you. You were shooting and turning rapidly, not letting yourself be attacked from behind, but they were closing in on you. You were quickly knocked to the ground. You were fighting and thrashing for your life, this was not going to be how you died.

A heavy club swung across the creature on top of you, killing it instantly. You took this opportunity to get up, shooting at the Outriders surrounding you. You noticed M'Baku was fighting alongside you, swinging at any creature coming his way. You saw a cloud of smoke in the distance but you didn't have time to pay attention to it. "Cap. That's him." You heard over the comms. "Eyes up. Stay sharp." Steve commanded. 

The aliens were finally thinning out, but you kept fighting. You wouldn't stop until they were all gone. A big blast in the distance got your attention. You ran towards it, not knowing what you might find. You saw Thor wield lightning at someone. There was a loud bang and suddenly a stillness. Thor was just a few yards away but something else caught your attention.

There was dirt blowing all around you. You watched in horror as the warriors you were fighting with turned to dust. You ran to Steve to ask him what was happening. Steve was looking around in confusion. "Where'd he go? Thor? Where'd he go?" Steve asked demandingly, breathing heavy. "Steve, what's happening?" The worry was heavy in your voice. He looked over to you, lost. 

"Steve?" Bucky questioned looking down at his arm. "Y/N?" He looked up at you, face full of fear. Before you could react the rest of him turned to dust, his gun falling to the ground. Steve walked over to where Bucky had been, kneeling to the ground slowly. Touching the dust, his face full of disbelief as to what just happened. "No." You whispered walking over to the spot. "No. No! NO!" You screamed each word louder than the last. 

Your body gave out as you fell to the ground, sobs wracking through your body. You were scrambling through the dust as if you were trying to find him. You could barely see through the tears in your eyes. You felt Steve wrap his arms around you, pulling you into him. You let him hold you as you uncontrollably sobbed. "Oh god." He breathed out, trying to register what just happened.


	10. New life

"Pippa!" You shouted. "C'mon, breakfast!" You were trying to encourage her to get up. She's been more lazy than usual. Although, you couldn't blame her, it was hard to find motivation these days. You've been taking care of the goats for just over two years now. Which meant it's been that long since the light went out of your life. 

Steve tried to get you to come back home but you refused. You had to hold onto what little you had, even if that meant abandoning your old life. You retired from your position at S.H.I.E.L.D. and stayed in Wakanda, not even going home to get any of your belongings. 

It was painful to live in the hut without him, but it was all you had left of him so your embraced it. You took it upon yourself to do the work he was doing, taking care of the goats as well as other farm work. It was hard at first, but you got used to it. After doing it everyday it became habit.

Steve checked in with you every few months to make sure you were okay, but other than that you didn't really talk to anyone. You spent your days doing farm work and sitting by the lake. At night was when you felt the most empty. Laying in his bed by yourself, clinging onto his pillow. His scent has long faded away by now but sometimes you swear that you can still smell it.

You look at the Polaroids of the two of you every night before you fall asleep. You're glad that you got the chance to have those moments together. At first, it hurt to see his face all the time, but now you embraced it. You were happy that you would never forget what he looked like. 

You dreamed about him a lot. The good dreams you had were always the two of you living the domestic life on a farm, feeding the goats together. You would dream that he was in bed next to you, holding you. When you would wake up you would feel your heart break again, remembering that he's not next to you.

Your bad dreams were always the same, seeing him dusted. Those dreams always made you wake up crying. Seeing his face full of fear, not able to help him. It usually left you awake all night, not wanting to have that dream again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?" You answered the phone, even though you knew who it was. "Hey Y/N." Steve greeted. You took in his tired face, he looked even worse than the last time you talked to him. "How are you?" He asked. You tried to give him a smile but you couldn't manage one. "I'm alright." You answered holding back tears. 

Steve's face dropped seeing the tears well up in your eyes. He nodded, trying to get the strength to keep the conversation going. "How about you?" You asked in a soft voice. He took in a deep breath. "I'm okay. I've been going to the V.A. a lot." He cleared his throat. "I'm trying to become a counselor." He told you trying to bring a smile to his face.

You nodded. "That's good." The enthusiasm barely in your voice. He sighed. "Yeah." He shook his head. He wants to help but it sucks that he's taking Sam's old job. "How are the goats?" He asked, trying to change the subject. You snorted. "Fine. Stubborn." You looked out the window to look at them. They were laying in the grass.

There were a few beats of silence. "I should go." He said suddenly. You nodded. "Yeah." You looked at him again. "I call soon." He told you with a nod before ending the call. You felt tears form in your eyes again, not even bothering to stop them from falling. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was raining, no, pouring outside. It had been for the past four days. You didn't want to risk getting sick so you stayed in the hut for the majority of the time. You were growing bored, you would usually walk around the lake to relieve any pent up energy, but that wasn't an option today.

You decided to deep clean the hut, not that there was much to clean, but it gave you something to do. You pulled the bed away from the wall and noticed a box tucked in the corner. You knew it wasn't yours, which meant it had to be his.

You debated picking it up, you weren't sure if your were ready to see what was in it. After a few minutes you decided to pick it up and place it on the bed. You sat in front of it, and with a deep breath, removed the lid. 

It was mostly journals and pieces of paper. You took those out and set them aside to read later. At the bottom of the box were little trinkets. A few pins from his army uniform, two keys, and his dog tags. You had no idea what the keys were for. You would probably have to ask Steve.

You went back to the journals. As you flipped through the pages your heart dropped. Etched into the paper was him trying to remember himself. The pages dated back years. Steve was the subject of a few pages, trying to see why he was important. You felt like you got to know him a little bit. He didn't like to talk about his past much, although you couldn't blame him.

What surprised you was seeing your name on the last few pages of one of the journals. He wrote about the day you two met, how he couldn't get you out of his head. He wrote about your video calls, how he wished to see you in person. He mainly wrote about how much he wanted you to be his. 

You spent hours reading through the journals, sobbing as you got further and further into them. You could barely see the words on the pages anymore, but you kept going. When the last page was read you fell back onto the bed, letting yourself sob loudly, the noise getting drowned out by the storm.

You couldn't help but ask yourself: how could you miss someone so much who was never even yours?


End file.
